


Lived a thousand years

by GreyWeeknds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Death, Friendship, Letters, Love, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 14:12:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyWeeknds/pseuds/GreyWeeknds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Harry's suicide, Niall gets these letters from his best friend where he tells him that he has a secret that he's kept from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

_Dear Niall,_

_Now that you’re reading this letter you probably know that I am dead. I want to start telling you that this is not your fault, I’m finally happy now, I feel peace. I don’t know how you found me dead since I've tried to take my life before in different ways, but I failed every time. I think that my suicide attempts can actually describe my whole life’s history, a life made in failures. But this letter isn’t made for me to complain in, that was the whole reason why I ended it. No, this letter is made for you, to remind you of all the good times I had with you and how grateful I am to say that you were my best friend till the very end. This is also made for you to find out a secret that I’ve kept from you in my whole life, a secret that I was too much of a coward to tell you in person. This is the first of three letters that you will gain by different people by different times. I will not tell you when you will receive the letters, because then the magic will be destroyed._

_I want to start this letter by telling you the story of the first time we met, do you remember it? If not I will make your mind a bit fresher, since I know that you usually forget a lot of things. Well, it was a sunny day and I had just turned five years old. It was my first day at school and I was a bit nervous about the whole ‘responsibility’ thing that my mum had told me about. To comfort myself I took Mr Bear with me (I know, I have always had a bad imagination with names) and he was the whole reason why we actually became friends to begin with. He was the best teddy bear I could dream of,_ _apparently to you too because you couldn’t keep your Irish little fingers for yourself as you tried to steal him away from me._

“ _He’s mine!” I screamed to you._

“ _No, mine!” you screamed even louder, you’ve always had lungs like a new-born._

“ _Give me him, you stupid, stupid boy!” I cried._

_Suddenly you let him go and smiled a shy smile before you hugged me tenderly. I was a bit surprised, but I thought it was better to just play along so you wouldn’t steal Mr. Bear from me, he was my greatest possession to be fair with._

“ _Don’t cry, I’m sorry. I won’t take your teddy away again, I promise.” you apologized, still your hand wrapped around my neck._

“ _It’s okay, you can play with him if you want to. His name is Mr Bear and he’s my best friend.” I said proudly._

_You looked sadly at me before a small blush captured your cheeks. You opened your mouth a few times; it looked like you wanted to ask me something but you were too afraid to say it out loud. With all the courage you had in your bones you said the thing that has meant the most to me in my whole life, more than anybody has ever said._

“ _Do you think you’d want to be my best friend instead?”_

_I don’t have to tell you the rest of the story since you already know what happened next, we became the closest friends that anybody could be. I wish that I would have said it to you when I was back alive, but I was too scared of your reaction. You mean everything to me; you’re the reason why I was alive as long as I was. In my world, nineteen is like living a thousand years in yours. I’ve felt tired, sad and unhappy for as long I can remember and you were the only sun that lighted up my life._

_I want you to keep Mr Bear as I won’t need him any longer; I think that he will be better with you since you’ve always been his secret favourite._

_Yours truly, Harry. x_

The tears streamed down his face, he hadn’t even cried this much at Harry’s funeral as he did now reading this letter. He had reread this letter almost thirty times by now, but he couldn’t help it. He felt closer to him now that he was no longer with Niall. It was such a Harry thing to do to write some letters to cheer him up when he felt down, because if he was the sun in Harry’s life then he was the whole universe in Niall’s. He had been in love with the green eyed boy as long as he could remember, all the times when he had cried against Niall’s shoulder he had wanted to kiss every inch of his body. But instead he had repeated to him that it would be okay, but it never did. Everything had started when Harry’s parents told him that they were going to get a divorce, he became a half person after that. When he smiled it was always a little bit too sad for Niall’s aspiration, and it wasn’t until the two of them were alone that the boy became his normal self again.

He took up the old teddy bear in his lap; he hugged it so hard that he felt all the air in his lungs were punctured out of his body. He didn’t care though; all he wanted was to be with Harry again. But he had to be brave, all their other friends were in grief, not as much as he was but they loved him too. Sometimes he wished that he could turn time back to the day that they met, because if he could then he would try to make him happier even when he didn’t showed that he was sad. He would force him to smile every day if it would make him happy in the end.

Niall released the bear from his tight grip, he wondered how many times he had hugged it as a child when he had cried. The thing about Harry was that he only let go of his tears when he thought that nobody noticed it. He was always ashamed that people would judge him, and now they certainly did. Everybody thought that he was a cutter, a person who loved to see his own blood. But Harry wasn't that type of a depressed guy, he was the one who hid in the shadows and spit at himself and then smiled at the day to fool everybody else. The only one who had known how bad he had felt about himself had been Niall, and he had been the one who had rocked him back to sleep as his tee-shirts were drown by tears.

He had always wanted Mr Bear, but if he would have known the circumstances that he would receive it, he wouldn't even dream about owning it. Irritatedly he drew the tears away with his shirt sleeve, was he always going to feel this bad as he did now? He hadn't just lost a best friend that friday night, he had lost his crush, his brother, his whole world.

It had been he who had found Harry the day that he died. He had only been dead for a couple of hours, but it weren't as scary as he had thought it would be to see a corpse. He had looked quite peaceful, almost like an angel. That was the only time that he ever saw a real smile on Harry that weren't fake, he was truly happy. Just because of his friend's fortune came it didn't took away the ache in his heart. When his grandpa died a few years ago it hurt, he had cried almost every day for two weeks straight. But here he was now, still crying all the time after two months. He had never thought something could hurt this much, it felt like a part of him died along with Harry that day. He wished that he could feel just a bit of pain that the curly haired boy had to cary every single day in his whole life to understand it, because he didn't. He couldn't understand how a beautiful boy with a such a bright future could end it that easily. But then he remembered the lines in Harry's letter, _'In my world, nineteen is like living a thousand years in yours.'_ and perhaps that was the truth, that he already felt like his whole life was done. It would just have felt better if he could have warned him so that he could have said goodbye and told him about the unconditional love that he felt towards the boy.

-

“I miss you Nialler, you're not the same. You never smile anymore, you always looks like you're on the verge of crying. You don't even care about bleaching your hair, that was your number one priority before.” Liam said concerned as he stroked his hand against the rosy cheek.

“It's because I _don't_ care, there's no reason too. I only kept it good looking for him, and now that he's gone there is no point of it.”

Liam looked at him sadly, he was the only one who knew that Niall had loved him. He scratched his head so that the golden brown curls danced in the air. His hazel eyes were really blurry, he could see that he was trying to hold back his own tears.

“Don't you think that you could try to find someone other now... now that he's in heaven.” Liam hiccuped as he pointed his index finger up.

Niall felt the anger that hit him right in the face, who was Liam to tell him that he should forget Harry? All he wanted was to see those green orbs again and let the time float away. He wanted to feel his taller body against his, brushing his fingers against every liver spot that was inked against his skin. He wanted to kiss away the pain and make him happy again.

“Don't you dare try to force me to forget him Payne!” Niall shouted as he jumped up from his chair in the café.

“I didn't meant that you should forget him, just that you should try to move on. It's been two months Ni, two months since he took those damn pills and killed himself. He didn't loved life like you did, he despised it. Do you know how many times both me, Zayn and Louis stopped him. Zayn had to cut the rope that he tried to hang himself the day he turned sixteen. Do you understand how it felt for him to see his friend trying to kill himself right after he blew his birthday candles? He almost made Zayn as depressed as he was. And do you know what the worst thing is, it's that he made you just as he.” Liam shouted back.

“You don't know how Harry felt, nobody did! I was the one who had to glue together all the broken pieces that reality destroyed every day. I was the one who loved him when nobody else did. I was the one who fucking found him dead!” Niall screamed as the tears began to stream down his face.

All the customers looked amusedly at the two of them, they probably looked like two freaks who had ran away from the asylum. He saw the regret that crawled back on the other boy's face, he wanted to take every word back. Liam held out his arms and when Niall reached his grip he broke down. He felt how a hand stroked him comfortingly over his back, he knew that Liam was only concerned about him. But it hurt... a lot. The thought about never seeing him again made him want to throw up. The first three days after that dark, dark night, Niall had thought that it was just a nightmare and that he would wake up in Harry's arms again. But it wasn't a bad dream, and he was never going to see those green, green eyes again.

Liam took up a chocolate bar from the pocket in his trousers, he reached it to Niall's thin lips and gave him an apologizing smile.

“Eat it, it will take the pain away.”

He wanted to believe him, he really did. But to be honest it did't felt even a bit better, it only reminded him of the colour of Harry's locks. There wasn't a person on earth that had had such a beautiful hair like the curly boy had, just looking at it made your fingers feel itchy. He remembered when he was just a child, he always buried his his fingers in it and made tiny heart shapes at the back of his scalp. But as they grew older he was too afraid of how Harry would react of his touches, so he decided to ignore that itchy feeling in the top of his fingers.

-

The noise of the clock surrounded his ears as he looked down at the bottom of the peach coloured cup. He closed his eyes and he drew in the scent of the cinnamon from his tea, it smelled absolutely lovely. He took a quick sip from it, but it was still too warm so that he burned the top of his tongue, but he didn't cared enough to think more than a couple of seconds of it.

“I'm really happy that you visited me. It's been very quiet around here, in the house... since he left. I never thought that it would be such a big difference from when he was still ali... home. “ Anne mumbled.

He didn't knew what he was going to answer her so he only nodded his head. Niall knew that she hadn't spoken the big D word yet, and he understood her. If it would have been his child that died he would too feel as empty as a box and scared like a ladybug. She looked really tired, like she hadn't slept for months. Once upon a time she had looked almost as beautiful as Harry had, but now she looked just as worn as he did.

“Do you miss him?” she asked and at the last word her voice cracked.

“Every day.” he breathed out.

“Me too.”

The silence builded a tiny wall between them, and as every second went by a new brick was glued on. It felt like he was supposed to say something, anything. But he couldn't think of anything to say, so he just remained silent.

“I miss his nose.” Anne said.

“W-what?” Niall asked, because he had almost forgotten where he was.

“I said, I miss his nose. The was it always wrinkled when he thought that something was amusing. He almost looked like a pug when he did that.” She smiled.

He tried to smile back, but he failed. He could also remember the way he would look like he smelled something bad when there was something that he didn't like. Niall had always thought that it was really cute, and the thought about it made him want to go home to his empty dark apartment and grieve even more than he did usually.

“Yeah, I miss that too. But the thing I miss the most about him is the scent of his body, he always smelled so magnificent, like he had bathed in perfume in the morning.” Niall sighed.

Anne nodded again before she looked down at her hands, she whirled the gold ring on her ring finger. Niall could still hear the words she often said to him, _'Someday you're going to make a girl extremely lucky with this ring'._ Niall had always secretly wanted it by himself, as a promise from Harry to stay with him forever. But he never did, and he broke two of Niall's dreams at the same time that night.

 


	2. Chapter two

_Dear Niall,_

_It should be about autumn in your world right now. I thought that it would be proper to give you the letter since I know that you always hated this season. If I just close my eyes I can still see how small and fragile you looked like when the wind reached your pale yet rosy cheeks. You almost looked like a tiny chicken that had just hatched from a shell, and I always felt the urge to put my arms around you and keep you safe from the big, bad wind._

_This time I wanted to tell you the story of our first fight. I think we were around eight at that time, it was winter and we had just finished the school term. It wasn’t really a special day, just a play day in the snow. I can still remember what you wore, two beanies, three couple of mittens (I still can’t understand how you even could make it fit with so many layers of clothes) and a blue dungaree. At that time you had still your dark brown hair, but I actually preferred your bleached blond instead, it looked more natural on you._

_We were building a snowman when I first took up the subject that would be the first thing in my life that I would regret._

_“Gemma snogged somebody today.” I said._

_You looked at me for a moment, incomprehension all over your face. I wanted to take it back, because you looked like you were going to start laughing at me for even talking about my sister with you._

_“What exactly is a snog?” you asked me._

_It was now my turn to be confused, I didn’t realize that you didn’t knew what it was. Slowly I walked forward to you, to say that I was nervous would be an understatement, and it felt like I was going to shit myself to be honest. With my two hands I dug my fingers in your both your cheeks and drew them closer to my face. Just for a slight moment I looked at you to get your acceptation, but you looked too chocked to even blink. I pressed my lips against yours and you tasted really sweet, like raspberries and buttercups. At that time I didn’t knew that a snog actually involved tongues, Gemma had never told me that. Even before I could recognize it I felt how you put your hands on my chest and strongly pushed me away, the cute little boy was gone and there was an angry wolf in front of me instead._

_“You kissed me! I was going to save that for someone special you twat!” you screamed._

_“I’m sorry!” I screamed before you walked home and left me by myself to drown in my own remorse._

_I’ve never felt any worse in my entire life; I took your most precious thing away from you by just snapping my fingers. So that is the thing I will give you back in this letter, your first kiss. I want someone better to give it to you, someone that actually deserves you. I hope that you can someday forgive me, because I never did. And I’m sorry for not telling you the secret in this letter either, because if I would I’m scared that you wouldn’t read the last one of all the hate that you will feel towards me when you’ll find out._

_I’m sorry, Harry. x_

The teardrops splattered down on the paper, the ink began to blend together so much that it was almost impossible to read what it had once said. But that didn’t matter, because Niall knew all the words by heart. He couldn’t understand how Harry actually thought that he was still angry about the kiss; it had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. And that was the thing that scared him the most, because his mum had always told him that a boy should someday kiss a girl and then marry her and then have her children, she had never told him about a story of two boys who kissed. The feelings he felt after Harry’s lips had been glued on his had been weird, he had felt tiny butterflies in his belly and he was almost certain that he had been a bit dizzy too. He never understood it at that time, but he knew now that he been in love with him already then.

He looked up to Zayn; he gave him an apologizing gaze before he pressed his lips against the blond boy’s. It was to scratchy against his chin and his mouth tasted too much smoke and far too less honey. The lips were far away from his before he could blink, he didn’t understood why the boy had kissed him. He had never showed him any interest before, and it was certainly not the time now. It seemed like the older boy had read his mind because he looked out on the city before he opened his mouth.

“He asked me to do it. Said that I was more worthy you than anybody else could be.”

“Oh.” was all he could say, because what were words that was expected from him to begin with?

“I said to him that he was big git, but he insured me that you would want me to do it. I’m sorry, I know that you would rather want it to be his.”

“You knew?” Niall asked chocked.

“Everybody did, except him.” the raven haired boy laughed amusingly.

Niall didn’t have the force inside him to stand much longer, so he decided to sit down on the cold hill instead. The city lights in the horizon looked like sparkling stars to him, he wondered if his friend could see it too. He had to bit down his under lip to stop himself from crying, he didn’t felt like he wanted to cry in front of Zayn again. But the boy finally looked at him and then Niall saw the most unexpectant thing he could ever dream of, there were tiny tear marks on his cheeks and his eyes were really blurry. He had never seen him sad before, never happy either, always indifferent.

“I miss that son of a bitch. Never thought it would hurt this much, but the bastard was a great friend to have.”

The older boy whipped away the tears that had found their way out from the almost black eyes. He looked like he was going to break down any minute now. Niall wanted to give him a comforting hug to reassure him that everything would be okay, but that would be a lie. Because it was never going to be the same again, how much he even wished for it to be.

“Here, take it. It will take the pain away.” Zayn said as he reached out a cigarette.

Niall looked at it before he accepted it and put it between his lips. He filled his lungs with the toxic smoke, but the pain didn’t go away, it only reminded him of the former kiss that hadn’t been as great as his first. The cold wind captured his cheeks and it felt like a cold winter day. All he wanted was that that curly headed boy would warm up his heart of stone with those pink soft lips again. But he knew that it was never going to happen, and that made his stomach wrench in pain.

-

“I hate the way you left me here to rot in this town, and I hate the way it hurts. I hate the way I cry myself to sleep, and I hate the way I feel like dirt. I hate the way that you made me feel alone, and I hate the way you made to a mess. I hate the way you always made me smile but so easily played your life like a set of chess. But I hate the way that I can’t hate you, because I love you far too much to even dream about hating you.” he read before he put down the crumpled paper in his jeans pocket again.

 _‘Harry Styles, beloved son and friend’._ That was the short message that his blue eyes always saw when he visited the grey gravestone. He planted a small kiss one the stone before he sat down on the dark green grass again, once upon a time he loved to write poems but now they always turned out really badly. He wanted to cry, to show his grief, because that was what you were expected to do on a cemetery. But he hadn’t any more tears to spill; there were only tears in his heart that still cried out in blood. He hoped that Harry could see him down here from the clouds right now, to feel him. Because he wanted to make him to understand how bad he felt after he left him, that he wanted to die to be reunited with him once again. That night that he killed himself he unknowingly killed a part of Niall as well, and he was never going to get it back.


	3. Chapter three

_Dear Niall,_

_So this is the last letter as you certainly already know. You might wonder what the big secret that I’ve kept from you for all those years is, and sadly I will keep you waiting, but don’t worry, I’ll tell you later on this letter. Today is the first year anniversary of my death; I wanted it to be my mum to give you this one as you’d probably need a hug of a mother’s touch._

_As this is the last letter, this will also be the last story that I will tell you. The first story was how we first met, the second one was our first fight, so I thought that it would fit to tell you about the first time we went to a wedding together. It was also around that time that you changed the colour of your hair, and something about your whole appearance grew up. You weren’t that five year old boy that I grew up to know, you were this sixteen year old beauty that I couldn’t breathe around. You weren’t just handsome in your smoking, you looked like a beautiful magnificent man that wasn’t going on someone else’s wedding, and you looked like it was your wedding that we were invited to. I remember that I wanted it to be ours, but I understood that it would always remain as a dream and never develop to reality._

_The wedding wasn’t just the first thing that we experienced together that day; it was also the first time that we got drunk. I don’t think that you remember as much from that day as I do, because let’s be honest, you’ve always been the big drinker of the two of us. The night was young and it felt like we could live forever, like we were some black birds that was about to just reach out their wings and take to the sky. There were lights everywhere; they made your eyes sparkle like two bright diamonds. I wanted to touch you, kiss you, make love to you, but I knew that you would never want me to be the one to do that to you. So I kept my distance, and let everybody else drown in the glow of your beauty. I don’t know if you realized it yet, but the way you even touched your ears with those slight long fingers would make my knees go weak._

_“Haz, come over here!” you shouted loudly at me, not even recognizing that all the guests stopped dancing to see what it was that was going on._

_I only nodded shyly before I walked slowly to you. When I was just a few inches away I felt your hands were trembling down my waist, and then you started swaying to the music. You buried you nose in my neck and mumbled sweet nothings into my skin._

_“What are you doing.” I chuckled._

_“Just enjoying life.” You answered as it was the most natural thing to say._

_That was the time that I realized that I was going to kill myself, because I never enjoyed life like you do. When I hated it you loved every minute of it. I still don’t understand how two different souls could match as perfectly together as ours did, and still do._

_Well I think that it is fair to tell you my secret now if you haven’t already clued it out when I told you my story. I love you; I’ve always had and always will. I love the way you laugh to loud at silly things, and how you light up a whole room with just your presence. I love the colour of your eyes, I would drown in those oceans any time you just met my gaze. I love the sound of your voice, how you pronounce words is one of the funniest things that ever happened in a perfect day for me. But do you know what I love you the most for? The way you care about others feelings before yours. You’ve rocked me back to sleep so many times at my lowest self, and you can’t even imagine how thankful I am that you did._

_So that is my big secret, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t say it out loud. But I was too scared to tell you the truth, to see the disgust in your eyes when you would realize that I had all the time had those hopeless fantasies about us getting married and have children and move to a giant yellow house where we would grow old together._

_My final gift to you will be my mother’s wedding ring. Even if I could never give it to someone that loved me back, I wanted to give it to someone that I loved to the day that I died._

_I love you, Harry. x_

He felt how his palm felt a little bit heavier than usual; the ring was carefully placed at the center of it. He looked up to Anne’s big tired eyes; they almost smiled to him as he locked their gaze that they shared. He wanted to tell her that yes; he had loved Harry as much as he loved him. But he guessed that there was no point of making her clear to the fact that if Niall had just been a man to tell him that he loved him back, then Harry would still be alive. Instead he felt two thin arms melting into his shoulders; he wondered how much longer she would have the power to walk on this earth without her son?

“He really loved you; he wanted me to give you that ring. I never thought that it would be this early in life, and I always thought that he meant it as he was going to propose to you.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Niall admitted.

“I know you don’t, but you don’t have to. It’s enough for me to know that you loved him back as much as he loved you.” she smiled.

He nodded as he hugged her stronger. She was stronger that he thought, she was a fighter. Perhaps it wasn’t her that needed him; it maybe was him that needed her. _‘A hug of a mother’s touch’_ echoed inside his mind, Harry had always been the clever of the two of them. He knew that Niall was in great pain, and he knew that he needed someone that would take care of him. He only wished that it would be the taller teen who would hug him right now.

-

“You seem sadder; I thought that the letters were going to get you happy again. To make you have the strength to move on. But it seems that they made the quit opposite, you look like you just saw an animal getting kicked.” Louis said tiredly.

The brown haired boy lifted up the pillows and the dust danced around in the air. The apartment looked even darker than usual; it looked like someone had died in there. The curtains were hiding the windows, and there was only a small peak of sunlight if you stood really close. He hadn’t even changed the duvet for over a year, and there was a weird smell that surrounded the whole place that that you couldn’t really put your finger out on what it was.

“I am. Ever since I received the last letter I’ve become even more depressed than I was before. I don’t see how I can truly be happy again, because every time that I smile at something I feel bad because Harry’s not here to see it.” Niall breathed out, Louis was one of the few that he could still tell these kinds of things to.

“I miss him too, but I’ve moved on. I try to remember all the good times that I had with the lad, but you seem to cling on the memories like it was the present.”

“I can’t even cry anymore, I don’t remember how too. It feels like everything is just a dream and that I will wake up a day again and see him chewing on his curls again.” Niall said tiredly.

Louis watched him for a few minutes; he wanted to know what the older man was thinking. He wondered if it had felt as bad for him when his girlfriend moved away that time in grade eight. But then he realized that no, it didn’t hurt nearly as much. Because she was still alive, living life, but Harry was dead and his corpse was rotting down inside his grave and perhaps he was already a skeleton. He saw Louis taking up a bottle with white pills from his sport bag that he had bring with him when he visited Niall.

“Here, take them. It will take the pain away.

And for the first time he actually believed someone that it would go away. Yes, he loved life with all his heart, but he loved Harry far more.

“I will miss you; you were a great friend to have.” Louis said before he threw his arms around his neck and sobbed silently.

“I’ll miss you too.”

Niall opened the lock from the bottle before he swallowed all the pills that were in it. The last thing that he could remember that he heard the cracking voice whispering to him was:

_“Take great care of him up there man.”_

-

There was a white fog and the air was clearer to breathe, almost like a crystal glass. All his senses seemed so much stronger, like a dizzy cloud from his head had been removed. It wasn’t cold and neither warm, it was a calming feeling against his pale skin. It tickled a bit under his toes from the wet clouds, he wondered if he ever had felt anything as soft as the white ground he was slowly swaying on. The feeling of being dead wasn’t like he had expected, it felt like all the worries had escaped his body and everything he could feel now was peace. It was like in the letter that Harry had first written to him, he had postponed how amazing it actually was.

A taller body sailed like a boat across the sky; he was dressed in white cotton liked clothes. He had a gentle smile on his face before he opened up his arms and hugged him tenderly. He dug his fingers inside the chocolate curls and exhaled the fresh scent from his neck. Carefully he placed three feather lighted kisses on the skin were the liver spots were inked, he had wanted to do that so long and he felt how a stone from his belly disappeared that he didn’t knew that he had carried.

“It wasn’t your time.” Harry whispered lovingly.

“Not yours either.” Niall blushed.

“You could be happy down there.”

“Yeah, you could’ve been too.” he said before he kissed the corner of his mouth.

“You could’ve been happy.”

“I know.” Niall answered truthfully.

He felt how the two big hands lifted him up and spin him around and around like a carousel till he felt like he was going to faint. The blond boy laughed loudly as the taller teen sat him down again on the wet cloud.

“It wasn’t your time.” Harry mumbled again.

“No it wasn’t, but it was ours.” Niall smiled before he closed the last space between their lips.

He could feel that Harry smiled as he kissed him, their noses bumped awkwardly against each other. Their hearts beat in the same pace and he couldn’t help but to press his lips a bit too hard than was actually necessary, but he was too scared of that he would disappear in front of his eyes if he just blinked. It had been the right decision to take his life to be reunited with Harry again, and he could once again lose the reality of time as he left himself get lost in those big, green orbs.

-

Three sad boys looked up on the sky together, all of them cried sadly in their black smoking’s as they said a last goodbye to their old friend. The flowers smelled sweet, almost as sweet as Niall once had. They held each other’s hands so that they wouldn’t fall down on their knees and break down, they had to be strong and take care of the two grieving mothers now. They thought that they saw two young cloud shaped boys that was running around in the blue air smiling at them and Louis, Liam and Zayn were certain that the two of their best friends were finally reunited and truly happy again, and they would never forget the two of them. They were made for loving each other, both in life and death, and it was sad that they had never realized it down here on earth. But they plastered a smile on their faces to insure the other grieving guests that they were happy, because they thought that both Harry and Niall wouldn’t want them to be sad for them, now that they had finally found each other again, and they wouldn’t wish they’re fortune away from them. The two lovers had already lived a thousand years and now they deserved a final rest so with a white rose and kissing the gold ring that rested on the cold gravestone they said a farewell before they continued on with their lives. When they later thought about the two boys they sometimes cried and sometimes laughed, because they had all good and bad memories with them, and they all loved them to death. 


End file.
